Here as in HERE.... wow

White stone buildings surround me, a few palm trees here and there, black street signs with names on them that don’t yet mean anything to me. The streets looked abandoned and there is no soul to be seen anywhere. A car finally drives past but scares the living hell out of me by honking its horn as it gets closer by. Startled, I stop and continue walking as I realized this is probably something I have to get used to. Not because I would stand out with my stunning beauty, haha no, but because it is a part of the Latin culture.

So yeah, righty-o: just came back from my little venture around the neighborhood and I gotta say I was a little scared. It’s just all so different from back home where I’m used to tons of people always walking with me and around me, having buses and trams go by and actually knowing where I am and where I’m supposed to go. Now, my host-mom asked me what I wanted to do and I said a walk around the neighborhood would be nice even though it’s pouring rain. So, she went to get me a raincoat and an umbrella from the car so I obviously thought she was coming with me. But then she gave me the keys and said: ‘hasta pronto’, and off I was. I walk without a destination, which would’ve been better if it wasn’t only my fifth HOUR here and I had someone to ask directions from. I know it may be a little prejudice to think this way, but I have been warned about it by several different people: don’t trust the locals just yet, and especially the men. So that’s the rule what by I went now on my first expedition of a neighborhood in Providencia.

My God’s gift right now is that I look like the locals so as long as I kept walking looking like I had a destination and a purpose being there while other students are in school, I was fine. It was the moments when I hit a crossing of streets and saw a place in front of me that didn’t look all that appealing. So I stood there, looking like a lost puppy and then casually turned away and walked back. Not weird at all, no. I think in a bigger city ( I am still in Santiago, but I mean the center of the city) might’ve been different, because there are museums, clean looking café’s and shops I could’ve popped into. But in a neighborhood – which is one of the safest neighborhoods in all of Santiago – where there is no one around and I have absolutely no clue where I was supposed to go, it’s not a nice feeling. Company woul have been nice on the first expedition. At least now I’ve done it.

It is one of the most beautiful neighborhoods I’ve seen in my life, and with the sun shining I bet it would’ve been even more impressing, but now with all of the houses looking exactly the same, with me forgetting to look at our house when I left, it’s needless to say that I got lost – several times :D Lucky for me I’ve always thought that by getting lost in a city is a best way to explore it and by knowing your limits and a little bit about the ambiance of the place, you can actually have a really great time. This is what I did in April in New York when I took a bus into the city and just started walking. Now my only problem was that I had absolutely no clue what was where, what was a safe turn to take and if there was some place I should avoid. It was a little nerve wrecking.

I’ve been fighting all my life to destroy these sort of prejudice attitudes towards South America, but hearing the warning voices in my head I was bound to stay a little alert. Don’t trust people from the get go, don’t look lost and just keep to yourself and make them believe you’re a local. And this is what I did. Despite of the occasional horn honking, I think I did a pretty good job because even though I got some looks, no one dared to look at me longer or talk to me quite yet. Buthey, as I was told at work a few weeks back I am very scary. Gotta say though, I have never been happier about blending into the local population and not raising attention. Especially during these first weeks I think it will become very handy and I will thank my luck many times. Still, on my next exploration, I would like to have some company, a local or my friend Jenni who also arrived here today and will study with me in the same school for the following year. Someone to talk to so that I wouldn’t look so sad and lonely and that I actually do have a purpose wondering the streets.

I think it’s a little pathetic, and I hate to admit it, but I got a hint of home sickness already, not because I hate being here, but because it’s all so new and so different and that I don’t have anyone to share it with. It’s so awkward going downstairs and try to understand what these people are trying to say and to see their frustration when I don’t get it the first time. Where’s my back deck afternoon coffee with mom? Where’s the safe and calming ambiance of everything that’s so familiar to me? Where’s someone to talk to and share this with? Mom was right, the language barrier will be very frustrating for a while and this is why I’m extremely happy to be starting school in a few days. To get to be with other students, other exchange students and around people again, studying and actually having something to do during the day. This is also why I loved working so much: I had something to do. I wasn’t just sitting at home feeling awkward, but I had people around me and I actually knew what I was doing. Now it all is just such a big question mark, it’s all still so awkward and it would be great to have someone familiar to talk to and to just learn enough of this dialect to understand what they’re asking me and what and how I need to answer. Need to get the Wi-Fi password…. J then I can start posting these for you guys to read and not just tap tap tap on my keyboard alone here upstairs.

Maybe I should go down now, see if I can be of help? The hospitality just is like this: juuuust relaaax and take it eaaaasyyy’. I need to get to do something. Damn.. now she came in asking something but I’m not sure is she was asking me to go to a factory someplace with her or if she was asking if I was alright by myself for a while. These situations I hate. Then I just nod my head, answer something awkwardly and end up confused again… shiiit… but now got the Wi-Fi password so let’s try if someone wants to Skype J

Later,
Yours,

Maria